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Robert Tamayo

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Tiny Houses on Lawns with Gnomes

Some people like to decorate their lawns with Gnomes. Most of these Gnomes are left to fend for themselves in their yards, as the owners never provide them with anything other than their placement. From there, a Gnome is free to build what he needs for shelter, plant flowers and grow food in the garden, and start a family by marrying other Gnomes in the neighborhood; this last activity explains why certain neighborhoods have an uncanny number of Gnomes at different houses, and it also explains why a few homes tend to have tons of them.

Some houses with Gnomes also have Dogs. The owners naturally care much more for their Dogs than their Gnomes, as evidenced by the numerous luxuries they lavish their Dogs with; the Gnomes, meanwhile, are left to their destitute stations in the lawn. As I've mentioned earlier, Gnomes are given the entire yard to work with to make ends meet. Dogs, on the other hand, seem to be opposed to the Gnomes' efforts to that end. Dogs are frequently seen digging up trenches on the grass and dirt used for farming by the Gnomes, which in the worst cases can leave the Gnomes without food for a season; neighboring Gnomes will usually step in and help feed the hungry Gnomes whose harvest had been destroyed. Adding insult to injury, the Dogs treat the Gnomes' land as their personal lavatories.

For all these inconveniences Dogs give to the Gnomes, the two have an intense rivalry. There are often large battles organized in neighborhoods in late hours of the night. If you've ever heard your dog bark uncontrollably, he is probably engaged in fierce unarmed combat with a nearby Gnome. The war between the Dogs and the Gnomes has been going on for quite some time. Recent scholarly research has shed light on a new theory as to the war's origin, which is as follows:

There was once a family who lived in a house with a Dog. The family also had a Gnome in the yard. One day, the family decided to give the Gnome a house to live in. The father built a tiny house, styled after the family's own, and set it in the yard for the Gnome to retire to in the evening. The Gnome was ecstatic, and leapt for joy. However, as he prepared to enter the home for the first time in the evening to get some rest, he was shocked to see that the Dog had taken over the home for himself! The Dog barked and barked at the Gnome as the two argued over whose house it was to keep, and eventually the father came out and saw the Dog barking. Seeing the Dog so rattled led him to believe some foul beast was afoot in the yard, and he thought it was best that the Dog take shelter in the tiny house. At that moment, the father named the tiny house the "Dog House" and gave it to the Dog, leaving the Gnome without a home once again. Soon other neighbors learned of the Dog house, and they began to build Dog Houses for their Dogs, too. Soon, the Gnomes and Dogs were engaged in a brutal war over the Dog Houses, once intended to be tiny houses on lawns for Gnomes.
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